Who Do You Love? Sacrifice or Sabotage

♥ 9 MIN READ-

“Tell my people I want more of them.” That’s what God told me at the beginning of this month, but little did I know “my people” included me. What followed was a month-long conversation and object lesson about sacrifice.

So many of us have a jacked-up perspective of sacrifice. We frequently give but don’t live a life of sacrifice. We think we’re generous, but our sacrifice is circumstantial. We’re not looking at the full picture. (Don’t worry I’m not coming for you. I’m talking about me.)

What is Sacrifice?

To be clear, I’m not talking about a people-pleaser who gives away everything they have, an unbalanced doormat who lives without proper boundaries and the ability to tell people no, nor a religious workaholic who is trying to work their way into heaven. That doesn’t fit my definition of sacrifice (honestly it’s dysfunctional). My perspective of sacrifice is simply giving God what He asks you for when and how He asks for it. At some point in our relationship with God, we have felt Him, heard Him, sensed Him, or somehow gotten the message that He wanted us to do something that wasn’t comfortable or easy for us. We’ve all felt the burn of knowing God wants us to do something we don’t want to do and having to choose whether or not we’ll oblige. That is sacrifice. 

What I See Clearly

Sacrifice is the love language of God. It removes the distance, reduces the probability of error, aligns me, and sets me up for a divine exchange. All of the issues I have with sacrifice come from making it about me, not Him. 

The Issue

I don’t particularly like to sacrifice. I have, but most of the time I sacrificed out of obligation or the fear of consequences. This is the first time in my life I can say that my motivation to sacrifice has been love and the desire to actually be closer to God. We need to sacrifice, true, but our reason why affects our experience and our results.

Our resistance to sacrifice shows how little we love God and ourselves. Deep down we don’t have a problem sacrificing. The issue only shows up when we are asked to sacrifice something we value more than Him. And the problem is God always requires us to sacrifice the things that threaten our allegiance to Him (that whole “no other Gods” commandment remember).

Each of us has something we are willing to sacrifice without question (you want some of my time- fine, but stay away from my food). Our value systems make this naturally effortless but because of this same value system coupled with our comfort zone, other sacrifices are nonnegotiable. They cost us more because we value them more and sacrificing them requires every bit of intention, effort, and energy we have. These are sacrifices God requires.

Make no mistake about it, God is not an egomaniacal control freak. He wants more of you because He wants to give more to you, and what you’re holding onto is getting in the way. It’s always a setup to give more to you, but we get more by being in closer proximity to Him. We habitually crowd our lives with noise, time fillers, stuff, plans, misaligned allegiances, and more things that distract and derail us. Sacrifice removes the clutter, so you have to be willing to sacrifice anything that comes between you.

What To Sacrifice

I use to feel like at any time, God would take what I loved and force me to give it up. I guess I saw God as some schoolyard bully who was waiting around the corner to steal my hopes, dreams, and lunch money. I knew that wasn’t true, but the belief made me create more defense mechanisms and distance. I would sacrifice all kinds of things God didn’t ask for – unnecessary fasting, self-pressured Bible studying, non-spirit-led giving. These were all good things, but I was only doing them because I hoped they would prevent God from asking me to give up the things I cared about more.

God doesn’t force or demand a sacrifice. He just allows us the freedom to choose what we want to do. But understand that our lives are lived at an altar either before God or something or someone else. So where are you?

Double-Check

1. Determine where you are
2. Close the distance
3. Identify the sacrifice
4. Continue to consistency- The sacrifice doesn’t stop. Stay aligned. Stay on the altar.

Sometimes God doesn’t choose your sacrifice, your pursuit does. What you value most is always tested because sacrifice is meant to test your heart. Do you really love Him more than anything? Prove it. To be clear, the proving is not because God needs our love, but because desiring something else enough to pursue it more than God is dangerous for us. Nothing is ever more worthy of our pursuit than God. Anything I ever wanted enough that it took my attention or obedience away from God (boyfriends, sleep, food, money, time, etc.) always ended up taking from me instead of giving because every (and I do mean every) blessing I (and you too) receive is meant to coexist with and come second to my (and yours too) pursuit of God. That’s its proper place. Sacrifice keeps things in alignment. It keeps us focused on God so He can show us the wisdom and strategy to maximize what He gave us. Otherwise, we’ll abuse it, ourselves and Him.

You have to purpose in your heart that you love God more than ______ (you fill in the blank) and be willing to prove it. Otherwise, you’ll inherently sacrifice Him to get what you value more and end up losing the solution to your eternal need to satisfy a misinterpreted desire. To sacrifice the right thing you’ve got to tell the difference between a want and need and learn to want what you need.

A Message to You

The sacrifice isn’t meant to be a mystery. If you don’t know the sacrifice God’s requiring from you, it’s because you’re not listening. He has no problem making it clear so slow down, get quiet (mind and mouth), ask, and then listen to hear Him.

Sacrifice the Desire for Control

We focus so much on feeling controlled by God and that something is being taken from us that we don’t examine what’s being taken. If we looked hard at it we might find that there are things hidden there that could harm us if left unaddressed. Don’t be so concerned with being controlled that you let your need to be in control, control you.

Often we’re misled by our desires. We think we know what we want but we often are deceived into believing that errant pathways and seemingly valuable possessions are connected to our happiness, peace, and prosperity. Only when these things are taken do we see that they were never tied to our future. The revelation is on the other side of their removal. That’s the only way we truly see what our desires were actually tied to and what can fulfill them. Trust that your sacrifice isn’t pointless or just another chess move in some maniacal game. It’s not about control, manipulation, or pleasing some unpleasable God. It’s about love. Our love to Him and His love to us.

Sacrifice Settling

Sacrifice was hard for me because I was used to settling. What I had was enough. I didn’t need more. I was satisfied. But what happens when God decides He wants to give you more?

For some, our satisfaction may be disguising a poor work ethic or a poverty mentality- accepting a little because more requires too much effort. Is it truly satisfaction or disobedience? Is it contentment or laziness? Is it peace or fear? Because if God is calling you to more it’s foolish not to take it. It’s not about what we want. It’s about what we need. We are meant to be satisfied with what we have, but constantly be desperate for more of God. That requires forward movement. God is not stagnant, so we have to move with Him from Glory to Glory. We have to fall in love with what He’s planned for our lives and not resist it. Even if it looks like the more we didn’t ask for, we have to trust it’s the more we need.

A Message to You

Sometimes our hearts echo their desires to God, and we have to discover that God’s plan is what we wanted all along. Don’t let false contentment persuade you to refuse what God is offering. Make it your mission not to settle for less. It’s not greedy to take what’s yours.

Sacrifice the Wait

Sacrifice can be tough because depending on your perspective, it may seem like you have to sacrifice now, but wait forever to see God uphold His end of the bargain. But you’re not seeing the full picture. The reward is now. Growth, peace, joy, a deeper connection, increased faith, trust, pure motivations- these are the rewards. The transformation that happens in you is the reward. That’s not something you have to wait for. It’s yours now. See it. Value it. It’s worth more than any material possession you can ever gain. Let the promise just be a bonus, not what you set your heart or focus on.

When you make your sacrifice about the promise, it will never be worth it. It will always take too long, or the journey will be too hard, or some other verbiage that adds up to disappointment, but that’s because your value system is off. You don’t want Him, you just want the promise, and that’s what sacrifice comes to fix. It aligns your heart with the right posture and motivation. Acceptable sacrifices are motivated by love and postured in honor. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time. That’s not a sacrifice, it’s a bribe, and bribes don’t work with God.

Sacrifice for the Presence

The things I have the hardest time sacrificing for have been the blessings, new levels, growth, etc., that I never asked for (or at least I didn’t realize I did). It’s easier to sacrifice for something you want, but it’s tough to give up something you have for something you haven’t decided is worth it. In those times, you need a perspective shift. You’re not sacrificing for the promise- the new job, financial increase, dream car, goal life, etc.- these things will never truly be worth it. You’re sacrificing for more of Him- more presence, more power, more closeness. That payout will always be more than enough.

The Aftermath

My mantra right now: If it doesn’t come through His hands, I don’t want it. I am determined not to settle for less than God’s best. I am willing to decimate anything that could derail me, including any distance creating thing that separates me from God. It’s life and death, heart attack serious. I sacrifice my excuses and tendency to find a loophole or a way to avoid sacrificing. I now look at my unwillingness to sacrifice as sabotage.

I have learned (and am sometimes re-learning) to trust Him more than I trust my desires. Knowing that if my desire is true, His plan includes its fulfillment. There are blessings in sacrifice. I believe when you sacrifice what God has asked for, how He asked for it, you qualify for a divine exchange. What little you give is turned into so much more.

The moments I’ve gotten to the “you can have it all God I just want you” stage is when I’ve seen the most impactful moves of God in my life. It’s never about the “move” or the stuff that I’m praying for, it’s about valuing God above everything else and knowing that if I have Him, I have everything I need.

A Message to You

You know what it’s like to settle, go through the motions, and hold back, but do you know what it’s like to pursue God with everything in you? Do you know what it’s like to hold nothing back from Him and experience His response? Let me tell you it’s a little terrifying, a lot exhilarating, and brings blessings like you wouldn’t believe. I have never felt the love, seen the goodness, or experienced the overflow of God like I am now in my life. And it’s all because I decided to pursue Him, sacrificing whatever without holding anything back. And when I did that, I found that He responded in kind. He held nothing back too, and His blessings definitely trump my sacrifices. I know that God is a rewarder, so whatever I give Him, I have no doubt that He will give me back more. So much more.

«Consider This»

• When was the last time you gave up sleep, food, money, your comfort zone, time, energy etc. for your relationship with God? And how long did it take for Him to convince you to do it?
• What does it take for you to trust God?
• What is the level of your sacrifice? Does your action match your love confession? If not, what do you need to do to bring it into alignment?

Let’s have a conversation about this. Share your thoughts below.