The Becoming Gap

♥ 10 MIN READ-

I wish I could speak with caterpillars and ask them how they feel about becoming. Do they fear it? Is it uncertain or do they automatically know what they will become? Do they wish they could be something else or do they doubt becoming a butterfly is even a possibility? Are they aware of what lies within them or is it just a beautiful surprise? I wonder is it for them how it is for me.

From the outside looking in we often assume that becoming is natural for others and by comparison, we feel alone in the foreignness of our own process. Becoming has shades of unknown for all of us but looking back on every process I realize that inklings of it felt familiar- almost like islands of deja vu in an abyss of foreign territory. See, your spirit will always recognize purpose. We were created to become, but often fear complicates the process.

Becoming in itself is not terrifying. We are constantly changing every day. Aspects of ourselves are ever-evolving. It’s not the small changes that worry me but the cataclysmic life events that make it clear that it’s time to choose-> Move forward toward destiny or retreat. Standing still isn’t an option. <- Those are the moments I rarely see coming. I pray for them and then they smack me in the face. They are never quite what I expect and I never feel truly prepared.

What I See Clearly

There is a time we each reach a becoming gap. Sometimes becoming is effortless but other times God pulls back the curtain and fills you in on the process and the gap between who you are now and who He says you are becoming is apparent. Overcoming that chasm is a choice, but how you overcome it is the difference between struggling through the process or flowing.

A Message to You

I believe so many of us are on the cusp of becoming and if you’re like me the process is exciting but scary at the same time. Our safety net has been pulled back and our doubts are coming at us full force. It’s time to jump and meet our destiny but something is making us hesitate. It’s time to figure out what that is because our purpose won’t wait much longer.

Shooting the Gap

The biggest shifts in my life have been marked by a dream or prophecy that opened my eyes to the new level God was taking me to. Promotions. Marriage. Ministry. More may excite some of you but at times it overwhelms me. Honestly, my issue is that I want more on my terms, in my time table, in my comfort zone (as you can imagine it never happens like that). And the more I get never looks like the more I asked for. It never quite seems to be the blessing I would choose. At times this is what I struggle with. Becoming is never my idea. It often feels like being forced into a journey that I never desired, to a place I never asked to go. But what I realize is I often fall in love with the destination along the way. It’s never what I planned for myself but by the time I arrive, I am glad I took the first step. Becoming is the greatest adventure of my life but I rarely remember that. For some reason every time I’m pushed toward more I have to be convinced to take the first step all over again.

What I See Clearly

What I am learning is our desire to become is usually influenced by the story we’ve told ourselves about what we’ll become, the benefits and drawbacks we’ll experience, the life we’ll live, the problems we’ll face, and who the world will see us as. The story is the motivation that catalyzes or hinders our journey. It can either incite desire or fear. If it’s based on the truth than it will propel us forward but if it’s founded in lies it threatens to detour and delay. Examine the story you’re telling yourself and if needed, shift your perspective.

Becoming in Fear

I’ve always hated the quote “Do it, even if you do it scared.” I get that it works for some of yal (forgive my countryness I’m from Oklahoma) but to me, the advice always seemed incomplete. I didn’t want to learn to operate with my fear, I wanted to overcome it. I never wanted to be that person who ignored and ran from fear but instead, I became someone who let fear delay them because I thought I had to address and resolve everything before I moved forward. For me just doing it scared was not solid enough advice because it led me to doing things but missing the blessing in them. Because I didn’t deal with my fear I missed the joy of the process and inherently lacked effectiveness (It’s hard to kill the game when part of your energy is devoted to waiting for the other shoe to drop). Moving scared wasn’t it, but honestly waiting until I was fearless wasn’t going to work either.

I believe you can become with fear in the mix as long as you recognize it’s there. I don’t think my becoming process will ever be fear-free, but since I don’t eliminate it I must recognize its effects so it won’t stop me. Fear will make me overanalyze, it will make me create plans to get back to my comfort zone, it will trick me into believing that failure is imminent and the process is harder than it really is. Because of fear I always see a struggle. To keep moving forward I have to constantly tell myself the truth I don’t see so I don’t believe the fear that’s clouding my judgment. I may start off “doing it scared,” but my goal is to fear a little less every step of the way.

A Message to You

Dissect what can sabotage your becoming process. A successful person studies their enemies and creates a strategy with them in mind. Know what you fear and why and create a plan to remind yourself of the truth when fear threatens to take over.

Truths to Remember

Your fear doesn’t know your future, it only responds to your perception of the past

Most of us live in fear because we project the past into the future. We are so busy trying to prevent the past from happening again that we short circuit our becoming process just because it may look similar. Make peace with the past. Find the blessings in it, learn from it, and move on.

 

Your fear doesn’t know what you’re capable of

Sometimes the question our heart is asking isn’t “Do I want to be this person,” but “Can I?” So often God believes more in my ability than I do. Deep down I want to become who He’s shown me I will be but it’s hard to see it’s possible. My lens is clouded by fear, faded by false perception, and etched by experiences that never seemed to go right. There’s no evidence to support that this will end in pain but I believe it anyway. The truth is you can become every new version God shows because your past is full of all the things you already became. This new level may be a surprise but becoming is not new to you.

 

Your fear doesn’t know this desire is your portion

Sometimes the hardest thing is to admit to yourself you want the more that God is showing you. I habitually act extra nonchalant about the next levels God shows me but that’s a lie. If I’m honest it’s really just a defense mechanism to protect myself from disappointment. Because if I admit to myself that I want more then I have to really go after it and part of me doesn’t think I can take it if I give everything and fail. But lying to myself isn’t a protection from pain, it’s the saboteur of success. I’ll regret not trying.

Allow yourself to fall in love with God’s vision for your life. You don’t have to see how it all comes together. Just trust that God will make it happen.

Impaired Vision

 For me becoming is like my first time on the monkey bars. I was short with short arms so the bars felt like they were miles apart and if I fell, I imagined I’d be falling forever before I hit the ground. Neither was true but you couldn’t convince me otherwise. I had never felt fear like I felt reaching from one bar to the other. Did I have the stamina to make it to the end? If I didn’t could I survive the fall? The unknowns of my ability mixed with the uncertainty of the situation made the adventure risky. In becoming I have the same concerns. (In all of my growing I find I have never truly outgrown being that look before I leap little girl)

I know who I have been but who I’m becoming is not always clear and that scares me. For some knowledge is power, but for me knowledge is protection. It’s my Achilles heel and security blanket at the same time. It always has been. Understanding is the definition of safe and it is the one thing habitually missing from my becoming process. God never quite gives enough information to help me understand what’s going on and my downfall is when my questions go unanswered I typically fill in the blanks myself. But when you ask the right question but don’t wait for the true answer you end up off track. I have delayed so many of my becoming processes trying to force my way through, find a shortcut, or chart my own path, but there’s no way to DIY your becoming process. Trust me I have tried.

I think when you are someone who likes knowledge you end up believing that you’ve got it all figured out. If someone were to ask me how well I know myself I would say very well. I’m always thinking, always examining, always analyzing my own motives and behavior. As well as I might think I know me there are aspects of myself that even I haven’t discovered and that makes me unqualified to lead myself through my becoming process. I have learned that the key to becoming is less about learning new information and more about believing the truth we’ve already been taught. It’s about choosing the identity we want to become and shifting our perspective of ourselves to align with God’s. It’s no secret that I believe we don’t see ourselves clearly but my current becoming process is showing me that more than ever. Every day shows me there is more inside me than I realized. Every experience convinces me that I just might be capable of the more that God has shown me, but holding on to that belief is the challenge. That’s the muscles that the becoming process develops. You can either accept the identity God has revealed or hold on to who you thought you were but you can’t do both. 

Becoming is a process of letting go to grab hold to the next. It is trusting that what you know and who you know (God) is enough to carry you to the next rung. The truth will propel you forward.

Balance Your Scales

So often we make becoming all about the title, the status, and the feeling. Each new level of ourselves is about getting more and fulfilling some desire -> money, power, influence, acceptance. But when our purpose of becoming is to make our lives better or easier in some way it is a setup for disappointment. Becoming isn’t a solution to our deficiencies. That perspective is out of focus.

It is so easy to fall in love with what we’ll get from the becoming process but I think the key is to fall in love with who carried us through it. Even though the glimpse God shows us may exceed our wildest dreams it will never outweigh the cost of becoming. The sacrifices we will have to make in time and energy, the pain of learning to become and not always getting it right, the loneliness, the betrayal- it may all be apart of what’s required of us. In becoming counting the cost has always been something that made me hesitate. The benefits never seemed like they would be enough, but it was because my scales were off. The treasure at the end of every becoming rainbow isn’t what I get or even the person I’ll become but the relationship with God I’ll develop. The increase in trust and peace, the joyful alignment of finally being on the same page. It’s from that union that all blessings flow, the only way becoming more is possible, and the only way to successfully sustain at a higher level.

The Revealing

I have known people that resist becoming and at times I have been one of them. We convince ourselves that we can’t rise to the occasion and fulfill the demand of the new level. The pressure of the possibility is too much and we fold under it. We call retreating protection and convince ourselves that we are satisfied with the less we are accustomed to but deep down we wonder what if? We see other people taking leaps of faith and soaring to new heights and wonder if our wings are deformed or if we simply lack the courage to fly.

Whatever the cost is of becoming the cost of stagnation is higher. I have seen the devastation of destiny unfulfilled and I can say with certainty that is not the life you want. Don’t let fear convince you otherwise. You want more. More is waiting for you. You just have to reject your comfort zone and fully become.

Allow God the freedom to take you on a becoming process that you never planned on so you can become the person only He knew was possible. At the end of every one of my becoming processes was the realization that God was right all along. Our doubt and disbelief, flaws, and failures will never change this fact. So do yourself a favor and believe Him from the beginning. You honestly don’t have the time to waste.

«Consider This»

• Who are you becoming? Is it an identity you chose or God?
• What are the ways you self sabotage your becoming process?
• What are the self-imposed nonnegotiable of your becoming process? Comfort, understanding, control, etc. (Hint- Letting go of them is probably the next thing God requires of you.)
• What do you need to do to truly become?
• I have learned that trusting God helps me to be more patient with Him and myself in my becoming process. Trust helps combat my need for perfection. What can increasing your trust in God help you to overcome?

Let’s have a conversation about this. Share your thoughts below.